I have heard numerous times from people in the last few weeks, some version of, “I thought I’d be further along in my life by now.” If you are confronting the same issue for the hundredth time, or feeling like you are not where you are “supposed” to be, or feeling like your life is going nowhere…RELAX!
Life is not some linear race that unfolds consecutively in the way you think it should as you move from point A to point B. Life is multidimensional, and you are currently experiencing exactly what you are meant to experience, in exactly the way you are experiencing it. As well, you are doing exactly what you are meant to be doing. If you were meant to be “further along,” or doing something else, you would be. It’s as simple as that.
Seriously, look back on your life and see – when it was time to change, or to make changes, you either made the decision to do so and acted, or it was made for you (e.g. you got fired or someone broke up with you, etc.)
Ditch linear thinking when it comes to life
Linear thinking when it comes to life just doesn’t work. Yes, life is about “moving forward,” but it is not meant to, nor does it ever go in a straight line. You may have increments where you can look back and see that you “accomplished” or “achieved” something you set out to do. However, when we pull our lens of perspective out, and take a look at the bigger picture – where you are, right here and now, is the perfect place to be. You are not behind, nor are you ahead – you may just think you are.
See the value of your journey
It’s time to stop lamenting the fact that you don’t have the job, money or relationships that you thought you would “at this point” in your life! Ask yourself what you have instead of the goal you never reached. Don’t be so focused on a target that you think you didn’t hit that you miss the whole value of what you did meanwhile.
You haven’t wasted time, or energy – even if you say all you did was watch Korean Soap Operas for five years or read 100 trashy romance novels over the past three years. There is a benefit in relaxing, fantasizing, getting caught up in something outside your life. Seriously! Don’t judge what you have been doing as right or wrong. Everything you have done in your life has value. You just have to take the time and make the effort and to give yourself permission to acknowledge what it is.
Make peace with the present and move on
Once you’ve made peace with the present and can see the value of your life, then ask yourself if there is something “more” for you to explore. Take some time to imagine a compelling vision for your future that inspires you – not an expectation you put on yourself, but rather a vision of who you want to be. Is there anything you can do to take you in that direction?
The path that we are on in life is not meant to lead us onward, as much as it is designed to lead us inward. Once you see this, you can see that everything you have done has served a purpose and there is nowhere you are meant to be except “here.”
I’m not saying not to take action and have no goals, but rather to see that you are where you need to be right now, and that it is okay. If you feel led to move in a different direction, then do so, but first let go of all the emotional baggage of thinking that you have wasted time.
P.S. Remember! You shouldn’t be further along, amounted to more, be more accomplished than you are, or have gotten somewhere in life that is more important. The constant pressure you place on yourself to be more, to achieve more, to do better or to be better than is all pressure you put on yourself. You are your own authority, and your life is what you decide to see it as. Just because society idealizes the upwardly mobile, outwardly wealthy, and visually stunning, doesn’t mean that you have to.
Again, you are exactly in the right place, and that is “here.” Take that pair of “should” glasses off your face and let your vision clear, so you can see and enjoy the wondrous state of just “being.”
