I learned from my mentor Dr. John Demartini that your children will express whatever you repress. Why? They demonstrate traits you can’t stand so that whatever you have disowned in yourself, you are “forced” to take a look at. They teach you by pushing your buttons. Basically, your children’s job is to make sure that you become aware of the parts of yourself that you haven’t loved or embraced.
Because they are your children, you will love them no matter what. I see this all the time…parents who live “safe” lives and follow the rules have children (at least one) that is wild and crazy and loves to break rules…parents who “look down upon” certain types of people will inevitably have a child bring home exactly that type of person in the form of a boyfriend or girlfriend. Your child will do to you exactly what you used to do to your parents and if you haven’t owned it, it will drive you mad.
So your children are not in your life to be taught by you anymore than they are here to teach you. So, when you feel your buttons being pushed by either what they do or they don’t do, instead of reacting outwardly, reflect inwardly on the benefits of their traits and characteristics, and see how all they are doing (or not doing) is serving you.
All this to say, the more balanced you are, the more open you are, the more willing you are to love yourself as you are, and love your children as they are, the less likely your children will drive you crazy.