When we get upset and don’t “get over it”…it ends up being held in our energy field as an imbalance and takes away from our day and over time can even take over our lives! It can be a subtle or large drain of energy. Over time, feelings of resentment can actually harm your health and hold you back from inner well-being and getting what you want in life.

Like other negative emotions, holding grudges, resentment or even regrets have proven physical consequences such as elevated heart rate, high blood pressure and increased risk of heart disease. The longer you hold a grudge, the more likely your negative emotions will negatively affect your health. Everything in life is a lesson, it’s nothing personal. Life is just here to teach us, to help us grow.  So find what’s positive about your perceived negative emotions stemming from the experiences to help you let go, and move on.


  1. Identify what the grudge is about.  Sometimes, over time, we forget exactly why we are angry.  What action, inaction or trait gives you grief – what is it that a person did or did not do that you are upset about?
  2. Ask yourself if you have done the same action. We may judge others, and fail to see where we may have also done this to another in some way, shape or form. If they were rude…who have you been rude to? If they betrayed you…where have you betrayed another? It’s always there if you can honestly look at yourself and your actions. It’s pride and our ego that doesn’t want us to see it. Sometimes we get so caught up in “wrong” that we fail to see that what we hate or resent about others, we have within our selves.
  3. Perception can keep the grudge alive. It is not what happens to you. It is how you see it… your perception, decisions, and actions are what will resolve the issue.
  4. Take the time to see how the wrong doing may have benefited you. Every action or inaction has two sides to it – both a benefit and a drawback. Literally writing a list of the positive and negatives of the “perceived” situation will soften and can even eliminate the initial anger and frustration.


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