WHO ARE YOU? If I answer this question myself and base it on all the things that people have said to me, or said about me, I would be very confused. Even if I based “who I am” on what people say now, I wouldn’t know who I am.

I remember a time when friends of my parents would say how smart I was, but teachers at school said I didn’t have the capacity to understand concepts, and I commonly got C’s and even D’s on my report cards. I’d been called stupid as much as I’d been praised as smart. So am I stupid or smart?

Some people say I’m nice, caring and giving of my time and energy. Others have been offended by me and said I must not care because I’m not giving them my time and energy. So am I caring or selfish?

I did poorly in all my writing classes in school, and was told that I “couldn’t write.” In fact, the one thing holding me back from getting into university was my writing. On one of my report cards it was written, “Alice appears to understand, but is unable to write coherently,” yet now I have seven books and two columns in the newspaper. So can I write or not?

People who know me, know I love my work. Many people say I’m a workaholic, and tell me I need to relax more. Others commend me for working so much because the more I work the more people I can help. So am I a workaholic or just someone who loves what I do?

All my life, I was told that my voice was irritating, and that I sounded like Minnie Mouse and that I’d never make it in television (my previous profession) unless I changed my voice. I spent thousands of dollars with voice experts trying to change the tone and the register of my voice without much success. Yet, I’ve made money using my voice. So is my voice serving me or harming me?

AND…OMG about my body! Depending on what decade, year, or day of the month, people had an opinion. I was either too fat, too skinny or too muscular. When I was thirty pounds heavier and felt unhealthy, people said, “You look healthy,” yet when I felt “healthy,” people often told me I was too skinny. So am I skinny or fat?

I have been called these names to my face – not just as a child but even as an adult: Chinese pig, Pillsbury dough girl, A “lice,” ugly mutt, dumb f**k up, loser…and more. I have also been called amazing, awesome, beautiful, and inspirational.

So who am I? I really am all these things, but what I’ve learned is that it’s up to me to determine what my truth is, not look for the people out there to define me. I believed the worse of what everyone told me, until I began to realize that it was up to me to define myself, because that would determine my future.

My point is this, and I’m hoping this will resonate with someone.
Read this carefully:

Everything that anyone has ever said about you, either you believed it, or you didn’t, and everything that you have believed you have manifested, and that which you didn’t believe has driven you to excel.

Figure out who you are based on who you want to be. It’s true that you can be, do and have anything you want. The only thing stopping you is your decision to allow outside voices to define you, and determine your destiny.

Who you are has everything to do with what you choose to focus on. There will never be another you. You are undefinable. Stop trying to label yourself or let others title you. Listen to your heart and be who you are. People will label you and tell you you’re too this and too that, but in the long run it doesn’t really matter. They are just players in your life, helping you to find more of who you are.

You are an individual that has no limits, only the limits and labels you put on yourself. YOU ARE WHO YOU KNOW YOURSELF TO BE.


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