COVID-19 CONVERSATIONS SERIES
Hosted by Alice Inoue
SERIES ONE
VIDEO MESSAGES FROM ALICE
WORDS OF GUIDANCE
NEWEST TO OLDEST
THE TRUTH ABOUT QUARANTINE
Because it was unexpected, we had no time to create expectations of how it was “supposed” to be. As such, we were forced to confront ourselves – who we really are and what we really feel, think and believe. So now as we step onto the hamster wheel of life once again, think. Did you discover something about yourself or your life that you will take with you as you get back on again? Did you have any of these revelations?
You needed a break from activity more than you realized.
There are people you are happy to NOT see or interact with.
You are more creative than you thought you were.
You can do more from home than you ever imagined.
Some beauty services are optional vs necessary.
You are ready to file for divorce.
You actually like the person you’re living with. A lot.
You surprisingly don’t miss some of your “friends.”
You love cleaning and organizing your home.
You will plan more stay at home evenings in the future.
Your awareness is a gift from the Universe that you can take forth and use to your ultimate advantage. What else did this time reveal to you about your life or yourself?
WE ARE MOVING FORWARD
As restrictions are lifting, all of us will have opinions and judgments about the decisions being made. This is to remind you that it doesn’t matter whether you are happy or disappointed with the outcome. If there’s no changing it, remember that anything you find undesirable is not in the position to run your life unless you allow it to do so.
So, no matter what happens over the course of this month, do not give it the power to run your life. Only you have that power, and you run your life by choosing what to focus on. If you choose to complain and live in fear or frustration, the Universe will lovingly respond by giving you more to complain about, and more to be fearful and frustrated about. Therefore, it’s wise to carefully choose your focus. The bottom line is this: Focus on what’s going right for you with an abundance of gratitude in your heart for all that you appreciate.
PREPARE FOR THE NEXT PHASE
As we enter May we move out of restriction and into more freedom bringing forth more of the unknown! As such, it’s wise to prepare by asking yourself what opportunities the first phase of quarantine has given you. What have you gained?
No matter what experience you’ve had so far, it is how you perceive it that matters the most. Although most of you have likely adjusted well, remember that every experience you’ve had during this time will have greater meaning if you see the benefit. Without meaning, we burn out.
So, as May unfolds and more changes come:
1. Strive to let go of any absolutes on how you think situations or people “should” be, or ought to be.
2. Allow yourself to be flexible and set the intent to adapt to the circumstances as they shift around you.
3. Be thankful for all that is helping you thrive, as this helps you to get centered, objective and resilient.
Let’s move through this month with great awareness for what we have personally gained.Doing so balances your emotions, inspires productivity, and helps you become more enthused by life. We all need some enthusiasm right now!
WHY ME? WHY NOT ME?
Some people are dying while others are thriving. Some have lost their jobs while others still have theirs. Some are losing their businesses and others can’t keep up with demand. Some are going in debt while others have more than enough. Some have lost hair from home-schooling while working full time while others are cruising at home. We have all been thrust into a vast new reality that will make history forever.
The question I want to answer is, “Why have some been “spared” from challenges, and why do so many other have to “suffer?”
The simple answer is this. If you’re going through challenges, it’s to ultimately usher you towards a better direction. If you are in the midst of uncertainty, you are simultaneously in the midst of finding new gifts, lessons and opportunity. Trust the process of life. If you strive to look for the upsides of all the downsides, you will bring forth exactly what you need in the days ahead to emerge with something valuable from all of this. Everything will come together for you. Keep trusting and take it day by day.
If you’re one who has been spared but are wondering why, know this. Life will always bring you exactly what you need, at exactly the right moment, delivered in exactly the right way. Right now is obviously not the time for a big lesson or a big change in direction. Maybe you had challenges in the past that set you on your current course. Maybe you’ll have challenges in the future that you need to experience at that time. Everything is about divine timing.
What I’ve come to understand is each person has a personal destiny, and even the most horrible and painful events in our lives contain hidden blessings. It’s a great truth and one of the easiest to forget. So if life is calm for you, be thankful. If life is like a roller coaster for you, hold onto the truth.
The truth is that everything happens to your ultimate benefit, and there are gifts in all experiences good or challenging, even if you feel blind to the outcome.
OUR “NEW NORMAL”
It looks like we have another month of the stay at home order. Keep looking for the upsides of all the downsides. Remember that if you are grateful, more is given. If not, more is taken away. Just like a friend who’s gifts you don’t show appreciation for, you can’t expect more good from the Universe when you don’t appreciate the good that already exists in the present.
ALL “ZOOMED OUT?”
Yes, “Zoom fatigue” is a “thing.” Do you feel it yet? Video calls take more focus and energy. It’s not only much harder to hold attention, connection, and discern the state of mind of others, it’s like being “on stage” in a weird way, and that adds to stress and energy drain.
TO REDUCE FATIGUE:
1. Limit your video calls to those that are necessary. If a phone call, email or text can work, choose the most familiar way.
2. If you are in a large group video meeting, moving the screen off to the side can help concentration and focus if that’s allowed.
3. If it’s imperative to have video meetings for work, make sure you stretch and move your body between calls.
4. Avoid socializing using video if you feel adverse to the thought of “another video call.” If you have Zoom fatigue, a phone call to catch up with friends will really feel like a break.
COULD QUARANTINE HAVE ANOTHER PURPOSE?
Could it also be fate helping you to move away from the people, places, routines and habits not meant for you any more? What if all this is to save you from a direction that is wrong for you?Even though it’s not easy for many, at some point the pandemic will be a memory and we will hopefully be able to look back and understand the profound wisdom of the Universe. Let go and trust that everything that you are experiencing is in divine order.
THE PEOPLE YOU NO LONGER WANT TO HANG AROUND WITH
Covid-19 has changed our social contact habits. It’s a great time to reflect on who you want to transition from once we get the green light to start moving forward again.
We want positive social support, but if you found that you have somehow attracted and sustained negative relationships or situations, it’s wise to consider enhanced self-care during this break by keeping the following points in mind.
Carefully consider who gets to come into your post Covid-19 orbit by remembering that:
1. You are not responsible for another person’s happiness or mood. If someone makes you feel this way, maybe they orbit out.
2. You need to limit what you give of yourself to those who drain you. If someone or a certain situation drains you, set new boundaries or let them drop off.
3. Your life purpose is not to sacrifice your own energy. Help others yes. Sacrifice? No.
Relationships must have an even exchange of energy in order to thrive. Make sure you do an energy checks and show love to yourself by confidently setting boundaries.
GUIDANCE ON PRODUCTIVITY IF YOU ARE WORKING FROM HOME
Now that we are situated deeper into the quarantine, people tell me they feel like they are working longer hours, but with less productivity, and feeling more exhausted on top of it. How can that be? Time is being saved on commuting, pick-ups and drop offs, and social events, yet less is getting done. Do you relate?
If so, then it’s important to change the way you work, and consciously “segment” your day, especially if you are spending your whole day “home-ing” and working all in one place. If you don’t make an effort to create variety through segmenting, your week will blur into one long run-on sentence, and will drain even the most enthusiastic person.
The worst thing you can do is layer all your activities like lasagna on top of each other while you’re working from home. If it’s Tuesday and you think it’s Weds, or you seem to lose track of the days or times, then it’s important to shift your daily pattern.
Here are some ideas to implement for segmentation:
1. DO NOT EAT AND WORK. When it’s time to eat, move somewhere other than your work area, and engage in something you enjoy. This segments eating from working.
2. DO NOT WEAR PAJAMAS ALL DAY. Put on “day clothes” even if you are going to be home all day. This segments nighttime from daytime.
3. DO NOT START WORK WITHOUT A PLAN FOR THE DAY. Before you jump into working in the morning, make a list of the three things you will get done and three things you’d like to get to. This segments what’s important from what’s not important
4. DO NOT TRY TO POWER THROUGH HOURS WITHOUT A BREAK. When you find yourself getting distracted, leave the computer and take a break. You need a break. This segments work from break time.
(NOTE: If you get distracted from work and thinking the whole time “I should be working” you are creating massive energy drain. Stop working. Decide to take a break. Then get back to it. Be in control.)
Some to-dos
1. SCHEDULE WORK AROUND YOUR NATURAL SCHEDULE. Some of you may peak in the morning, some in the afternoon, and others late at night. Some have kids and school to oversee during the day, and have to work later. Move your work hours to where you can get the most done.
2. DRINK AMPLE WATER. Have water at your desk at all times. Lack of water can dehydrate your brain and lead to low grade headaches and unrestful sleep
3. ENVISION WHAT THE NEXT DAY LOOKS LIKE. When you are in bed at night, drift off to sleep by seeing yourself doing what you want the next day. Studies prove that if you envision it, you’re much more likely to do it. The brain likes familiarity and by seeing it, you create that for yourself.
TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE PROFOUND PAUSE
The hamster wheel we’ve all been on for decades suddenly stopped. It’s rarer than rare to see the world come to a halt in the way it has. Yet before we know it, the wheel will start turning as we pick up the pieces and get back on. Start thinking now. What pieces do you want to move forward with?
Never has there been an easier time to make changes. Granted, we all want to feel the familiar again, but April is in the midst of changing you. You are not the same person you were last month. Do not lose the sacred opportunity to recognize the gift that is emerging. What if the higher purpose is for you to discover the key that unlocks the door to the next best step towards your ultimate destiny in life?
REMEMBER, YOU DON’T NEED ALL THE ANSWERS RIGHT NOW
Questions are swirling. When will this end? How will I recover my losses? When can we travel again? How will I make it with no income in sight? When will I be able to socialize again? When will my spouse stop driving me crazy? (L😂L) Just like in “normal” times, everything you need for achievement in any journey is never fully available to you when you first set out. Once you start, however, have you noticed that the right situation, person, circumstances, and opportunities seem to magically line up?
It’s no different with the COVID-19 times we are in. We may have more questions, but our best response is no different. Do not overwhelm yourself and stress out by thinking too far ahead. Take it step by step. Make the best decision you can right now based on what you know, and not on what you fear will or will not happen, because you’ll just drive yourself crazy. Let the present be your master, not a fear-fabricated future of an incomplete and incorrect reality.
TAKE IT EASY ON YOURSELF
We have all had to adjust drastically to new circumstances. One day all of this will be over, and hopefully, we will emerge with a new level of awareness and profound appreciation for the preciousness of life. This post is to remind you that you are going through a lot. If you think that you should be getting more projects done, be more caught up, more patient, less irritated, and less distracted, stop right now! The thought that you need to be “better” is pointless as it only serves to make you feel worse.
Show yourself some love and own what’s true, and stop living in an unrealistic fantasy that you are supposed to do more or be more. Stop noticing exclusively where you fall short. Be fair and give yourself a break. Focus on the reality that you have just gone through drastic change, and be gentle and loving with yourself – the one person that will be with you for the rest of your life.
You’re doing just fine. Truly. Let go of the noise in your head telling you how you “should” be and settle down. It’s only when your heart is at peace that you have the power to positively affect everyone and everything in your quarantine orbit.
GETTING USED TO YOUR “NEW NORMAL”
Either you are confined inside with the same people and wish you had more “me” time and space, or you’re isolated from others and feeling lonely. You’re either working harder than ever, or you no longer have a job to go to. Either that, or you have lost business.
We are not only distanced from the people that we love to be with, we are forced to distance from the places and activities that identify us. The multiple hats we wear in multiple settings are now worn in a singular place making it harder than ever to know how to establish routines, and set boundaries. On top of it all, parents of young children are learning how to be teachers.
The upside? We are seeing possibilities of a new way of operating. What was once a “No can!” has now become a “How can?” We are learning about our own needs and beliefs. We are embracing the technology we once criticized for separating us, and grateful that it’s now serving to bring us together. We are connecting and reconnecting in so many ways and on so many different levels.
It is now week three of Hawaii quarantine. Soon, if not already, the adrenaline that sustained us in the past few weeks will be running out and exhaustion will set in. Now is a good time to turn our attention to what is in our control and what can make life easier. Here are some things to keep in mind:
1. Everyone has their own way of coping. Some process experiences through logic and belief, and others process through their emotions. Some become OCD and amp up worry and washing, yet some go the opposite way and think they are invincible. Allow each person to have their own experience. Let your observations be something that broadens your perspective rather than what expands your judgment.
2. No one can read your mind. If you need something, speak up. If you can contribute something, offer it up. If you don’t understand, ask. If you need help, let someone know. Under these new circumstances, don’t assume that others know where you are coming from, just as there is no way you can know where others are coming from. Communicate clearly, and do it with renewed vigor.
3. Start appreciating others in a new way. When someone does something nice, instead of thanking them for what they did, comment on the quality you value. “You’re so thoughtful to take out the garbage.” “Your consideration of my needs is remarkable.” “Your laugh really uplifts my day.” “I appreciate that you washed the dishes knowing how important that is to me.” At our core, more than what we do for others, we desire to be valued and appreciated for who we are.
ATTAINING MASTERY TOGETHER
You have wisdom if you can look back on your life and realize that every single event, person, place, situation, circumstance and idea was part of the perfection that got you to where you are today. Now is the time to trust that all we are going through these days because of COVID-19 will give us exactly what we need in future days. This is happening so you can look back on today, see the perfection, and say thank you. Be assured that the greater the challenges, the greater the blessings yet to emerge. You’ve attained mastery if you can honestly say, “My life and all that has happened is a gift. I wouldn’t change a thing. Thank you.” Let’s move towards mastery together.
HOW DO YOU GAIN CONTROL
Anytime undesired limitations and changes arise for you, find the best possible aspect of the restriction or challenge to focus on. Since you already know the downsides, diligently and tenaciously focus on the upsides.
DOWNSIDE: I have no job to go to.
UPSIDE: I am taking some much-needed time for myself.
DOWNSIDE: My business is closed.
UPSIDE: I can work on all I’ve been procrastinating on.
DOWNSIDE: My spouse and I are driving each other crazy.
UPSIDE: You likely have toilet paper in the house.
Consistently looking for what’s good within the challenging situation will help you change your perspective, the one thing you have control over. Your perspective is everything because it pieces together your reality.
PRACTICE THE THREE “A’s”
Everything you experience is governed by your perspective and mindset. When you feel challenged, practice this.
ACCEPT: Accept that you will likely receive news that you don’t want. Accept that there will be more uncertainties. Accept that you won’t have all the answers. Accept. Accept. Accept. Accept everything that you cannot change.
ADAPT: Adapt by changing your perspective. You can do this by looking for the upside. The more adaptable and flexible you are, the less stress you will experience as new situations arise.
ALLOW: Allow others to be how they are. Allow yourself to do less or more. Allow things to unfold as they need to. Allow life to take you through its journey of discovery. Stop your resistance. Let go and let it be.
COVID-19 QUARRELS
Keeping a relationship on sound footing is hard enough to do in normal times, but when you are living with very different people with very opposite perspectives, unifying during times of challenge, or being in the same house 24/7 is not easy. If you have felt impatient, judgmental, and frustrated with those close to you, take a deep breath and see if you can shift your perspective by coming from a place of consideration rather than judgment. Remember that all pandemics come and go. The wise thing to do now is to eat well, sleep well, think well, and remind yourself that when the panic is over, you want to have a better relationship, not a worse one.
COVID-19’s BIGGER PICTURE
Though we’ve lost our ability to move about freely, this is not a time of loss. It’s a time of transformation. As uncomfortable and surreal as all of this is, it’s important to remember that from every crisis emerges blessings, and it’s up to you to find your blessings in all of this. It could be that you need to be more appreciative of your work, spouse, or health. Or that it is necessary for you to change paths. Trust that everything you need will come to you in exactly the right way, and at exactly the right time. Because it will. Think of everything happening right now like a gift being delivered to you in an unrecognizable time capsule.
