Sponsored by: Infinite Body Awareness and Matthew Nagato
The month of January at Happiness U has oiled the wheels of change in my life. The classes and content I have been exposed to so far, have really touched on areas for me that needed to be understood and addressed. Many of the topics have inspired me to seek further knowledge on my own – through books, podcasts, and online articles; it’s a bit of self-imposed homework that I might not have put so much time and effort into without the push from Happiness U.
The online courses with Alice, “Clutter Clearing Plan 101” & “Getting Unstuck” gave me some great pointers on how to change old habits and why they might have formed in the first place. Just this week I have challenged myself to donate or throw away 20 items a day from my household, and in just two days, I already feel better by letting go of things that I didn’t want or need. Now I don’t even have to look at them anymore! I also learned that there are benefits to both where I am now and where I need to be – my inner voice was always saying I am not where I need to be, but reminding myself that I only have now and to feel gratitude, was also really important.
The in-person “Create Your Ideal Life” class was really eye-opening to me. Learning that “What we allow in our lives is a direct reflection of our relationship with our self.”, really made me want to have a better relationship with, well, me! Finding a more congruent alignment of my self-image, ideal-self, and my behaviors made me realize how much my daily decisions, big or small, can affect my happiness. Another wow moment for me, was the idea that “Being Yourself” is mostly a set of habits, which I had never considered. What I chose to do over and over again are the daily pieces that add up to the life I live, which I can alter, with just one piece….unreal!
Overall, I am feeling really proud of what I have accomplished in just one month. The word I chose in the “Personal Word & Number of the Year” class with Alice was “flourish” and I feel I am living up to that already. I feel incredibly grateful for this opportunity, and for the women behind Happiness U – Alice, Erin & Val. Thank you!
February was full of special, thought-provoking classes that instigated various calls to action for me. There were a few moments in particular that resonated with me.
The question “What information serves you?” from the ‘Stop the Noise’ class reinforced the steps I have already started to take in my life to lessen what I have to “filter.” The class made me realize even more to care for something very valuable – my mind! I loved the tips on how to stop the noise, even leaving the radio off in the car – I definitely noticed more of what was going on in the world outside of my car when I did that. The “Take Action Against Distraction” continued this lesson of decreasing distractions for better focus. I struggle greatly with focus and learned I need to be more conscious of what could be pulling at my attention and relieving myself of it.
The class “How to be a Good Space Holder” was also impactful for me. The idea to “let [your friend] find their own power” was something I needed to understand, as I often find myself almost immediately sharing my opinion or advice (or at least gathering my thoughts while they are sharing) rather than letting someone share their feelings and waiting for their “ask” from me (which there might not be one other than to have me listen!). I was also reminded to work on my tendency to be judgmental of actions that result in what I interpret as “drama.” We all have things in life that could be interpreted as such, and not everyone is going to respond to the same situation the same as me!
“Determining your Ayurvedic Body Type” was pure fun for me. I was completely unfamiliar with the system, so it was fascinating to learn about what works for certain body types. Learning about the “misuse of senses” made me re-think something as basic as the music I listen to and the temperature of water I use for a shower. I think the night after watching this class I drank more water and considered a new career that got me out of a desk chair all day long!
These were just a few highlights of many for February – I cannot wait for what March has in store!
One of the most powerful moments this month came from the “Introverts, Extroverts, Ambiverts” class I watched on Facebook. I was blown away to realize that I am an introvert (that can venture into Ambivert & Extrovert tendencies). I had always associated the word “introvert” with people I thought of as socially awkward, who didn’t say much, and who lacked confidence. I came to learn that this is an inaccurate. The two things Alice mentioned that made it very clear for me was “Introverts get energy from being alone.” and “Extroverts get energy from others.” As someone who enjoys and needs a lot of alone time and loves to be at home, this finally made sense! My boyfriend is definitely an extrovert and I have a better understanding of our difference in this capacity now.
The “Irritating Relationship Clarity 101” class really opened my eyes to “the mirror”. I had always thought I judged others who appeared to not have the same values that I did, but “the mirror” was a different way of looking at it. For instance, I really appreciate when people are on time, and find myself irritated when people are constantly late. However, I find myself struggling to be on time and will often be stressed and rushing so as to not inconvenience anyone or appear “irresponsible” (for lack of a better word). I came to realize others might not be willing to stress and rush like I do, and are not bothered by being a little bit late. It still might be a peeve of mine, but I feel less irritated knowing it’s something I struggle with myself.
The “You Make Me Crazy” class was fascinating. I scored almost evenly for the profiles of “Parent”, “Adult”, & “Child”, which I felt was a good thing, but definitely gave me some clarity. I felt inspired to be more “Child” and play more – I even thought about getting a Lego kit, which I used to really enjoy as a kid. I also found myself assessing friends and where they might fall in these profiles based upon their upbringing – then I started to listen to conversations and listen to what profile people were – it turned into “I Make Me Crazy” haha
The last thing I’ll mention is the Lifebook Workshop. I have never looked at myself and my life with such depth – what an amazing weekend that was! I had never thought to write down significant events in my life, or all the jobs I’ve had – I’ve come a long way and my story is so unique just like everyone else’s. I feel I gained a step in the right direction for what I might want to do next in life, which I’m actively exploring, but more importantly, I came to realize all that I have already achieved! I hope to finish the book by the end of the year.
Thanks for another great month ladies!
The “Escaping the Emotional Roller Coaster” class made me realize I’m probably addicted to emotional highs and lows – I seem to seldom recognize the in-between of the two, which is like “filler”. I also found it interesting that “Emotions can lessen our choices” – meaning emotions can sway our reaction (for instance) because it brings up something from the past, it’s a one-sided perception of something, and it can take over the whole body. When I get really upset, I can physically feel the reaction and I typically regret how I handle things when emotions take over. I mean, I’m human, it’s okay to feel upset, but staying more level headed during these moments would certainly help me handle situations better!
I have a very challenged memory and the “An Unforgettable Skill” class made me realize the more I value something, the more likely I’ll remember, which seems pretty obvious, but I needed the reminder. I would never forget to do my taxes on time or submit my jury duty summons notice. I do normally forget names of people I meet in large groups because I feel as though unless there is a real connection, I might not see them ever again, so why should I remember who they are? Recognizing the value in information would likely help me remember and the trick to associate objects to a familiar space in my home was like magic – I remembered my whole grocery list!
Finally, the “Create YOUR Calling” class reminded me of a list of things I would actually do if there were no obstacles. I firmly believe if you want something bad enough, everything is possible in some capacity. I was able to check-off a long list of reasons why these things aren’t or haven’t happened. It made me think, how can I remove them? If it’s a lack of time, how can I reserve more of it? If it’s something that costs money, how can I make more of it, or how can I find a way to make something happen by finding help with the cost? (AKA Scholarship….hollla!)
We really do what we want to do, even if it’s meaningless. There’s what we feel like we need to be doing and what we end up doing. Understanding the fears of why we might procrastinate helps understand why something might remain on my to do list – even if it’s something I really want. If it’s something I really want to do, I should create a deadline or find a way to hold myself accountable.
No matter what choice we make, it comes from our higher self. There is no wrong choice. It can be difficult for me to make decisions. The uncertainty leads to sometimes hours of contemplation about whether it’s the right decision that will lead to something “better.” This can sometimes take hours of my energy to process and I’m ready for a change. I find it particularly hard when making decisions that involve others, as I’m typically more concerned with their feelings and their enjoyment than my own – group trips, get-togethers, where to dine, etc. The next time this comes up, I’m going to consciously decide to make a decision within 10 minutes and move on. One other thing that I plan to put into practice is to follow-through on intuitive “flashes” – when I think of someone I’m going to call or make a note to call them for example.
Sometimes we feel we want to be there, and there’s a lack of appreciation of here. Sometimes I feel like things are not aligned in my life the way I had hoped they would be. When I take a closer look at those feelings though, they are really unwarranted, as there is so much I have to be grateful for. The cohesion of the classes from this month go well together because I want to appreciate the here, but I also want to be more open to making choices and decisions that implement change without as much indecision! Perhaps what holds me back, is my lack of trust for my own intuition.
The “Rut Relief to the Rescue” class was awesome! I’m going to have to watch this class a few times because there were so many takeaways for me. The idea that “mental commitments” take up space in my head and use energy and to either accept the task or move on was important for me to realize. The idea that I could be on my way to where I want to be and don’t even realize really gave me hope that I am not “stuck.” I am on my way to somewhere, just by attending Happiness U classes I am shifting – I do feel a difference! The idea of finding a bridge between where I am and where I want to be sounds way better than making a decision that doesn’t have any guarantees.
As for the Happiness U classes, “Pre-paving” was absolutely incredible for me. Being guided to picture the positive outcome of a situation I’ve been grappling with, helped me overcome my fears, which are holding me back by focusing on what could go wrong. Walking through the steps to address a situation and work through it, changed the way I looked at it entirely. “It’s not as bad as I’m making it.” was how I felt afterward. I hope to use this process for future dilemmas – so helpful!
“An Extra Serving of Self Love” reminded me that food is a form of self-care. I had been neglecting my diet for weeks due to lack of time, energy, and desire to dedicate to prepping healthy meals. Just this weekend, I went to the Farmer’s Market, the grocery store, and bought a lot of food. I prepared 3 lasagnas and brownies, which I enjoyed thoroughly, but also shared with friends and co-workers. It made me feel happy to do that for them and it was so enjoyable over a plain sandwich or can of soup. I made a beautiful salad tonight and even took a picture of it – it was so colorful and pleasing to look at. It’s interesting how a good meal can shift how you feel – it sets the tone to how you approach life in general.
“Hesitation is the key to being held back.” – something that resonated deeply with me during Dr. Finley’s “5 Belief Hacks” class. I’m the queen of hesitation and this idea reinforced how I’ve been feeling lately – that sometimes a decision, right or wrong, is the answer instead of continuing to be in limbo and not make one at all. I mean there really isn’t a right or wrong answer sometimes – just what you choose to do at that moment. It was interesting to learn about the 5 Key limiting beliefs – things as someone who likes to be in control could relate to. It’s refreshing to think of the idea of “loosening the reigns on life” so to speak!
The Superhero Unmasked class brought to my attention my two archetypes (1. Metal, 2. Water) The correlating descriptions were pretty spot on and I especially liked this…”Your Purpose: You are here to use your innate creativity, and depth of experience to create a life and lifestyle that is authentic to who you are.” This is exactly what I have been wanting and slowly shaping my decisions towards. I also related to this, “Your Creed: Let’s maintain separateness in our togetherness.” I love the idea that I can embrace my independence, but still get the closeness I like to feel with others some of the time. Finally, this is SO ME: “At Your Worst: You are detached, critical, controlling, and intolerant. You get emotional and then withdraw without communicating your true feelings.” Really couldn’t describe me more. It’s so refreshing to feel understood and perhaps explained. I not only feel like I’m understanding myself better, but classes such as this one, help me understand others – when I understand something, I can accept it more.
The Canine Behavior class with Janis Goto was outstanding. A couple of things that stood out to me with this class was the idea that my dog wants to feel “worthy” and I am an charge of making him feel such. I have started making a more conscious effort to meet that need by being more interactive and switching up our everyday routine to give him stimulation. Janice spoke about the sequence of thoughts equaling emotions, emotions equal energetic vibration, and energetic vibration equals intentions or actions. Just like with humans, if you remain balanced, a dog will trust you. I feel I am very good with dogs and part of that is when I interact with them, I put everything else aside I might be thinking and feeling, and just be present with them – they can sense it (humans want that too!) It was fun to interact during the class figuring out different scenarios and how we would handle them. I learned and reinforced what I already knew throughout the class!
The Universal Laws for Fulfillment class also brought up the idea of vibration and how when you shift it, you will attract different things – such a cool thing to remember. The idea of being able to “cultivate a vibe”, which can mean noticing my habits and thoughts and changing them at anytime, is SO powerful and easily forgotten. The last thing (among so many) that stood out to me was the idea that “Nothing in life has meaning until we give it meaning.” This is an outstanding way for me to find more balance with things I feel are/were out of my control. When I think about something that truly irks me, if I think to myself “What does it REALLY matter?” or will it matter in a week, month, year? it brings me back down and removes the blinders – the “meaning” dissipates.
I had never thought of decluttering my mind before and actually organizing it into categories, but it really helps! It’s interesting though, as many of the things on my list I really lament having to do – like deep cleaning my car for instance. Even though the task is still nagging me, the resistance to actually doing the work is stronger, so I feel this one might stay on my list until, say, I take my car in to get I detailed and washed somewhere. I also need to really break some tasks down to pieces and put them on my calendar. The task of “Organize my dresser” sounds so unappealing to me, but “Organizing sock drawer on Tuesday evening” is doable! The idea of doing small steps lead to bigger things really applies here.
Lani Kwon’s ‘Reignite your Resolutions’ class provided helpful tips on how I might be able to accomplish the 19 Goals I’ve set for 2019. My sister and I have agreed to be accountability partners, which I’ve never done before and know will help. One of my highest priority resolutions is to “Spend more time with people I admire or feel strong connections with.” The idea that I need to put systems in place for success is really important, no matter what my goal. I’ve come to realize as an introvert, that spending a lot of my free time at home working on things is great, but not always conducive to nurturing connection with others. My plan is calendar at least 2 activities a week outside of my usual routine that will allow for me to connect with friends or folks I don’t know. It really is exciting to take action on something you want and watch the magic happen.
My word of the year is “Purpose” and my number of the year is “8”. This might be my favorite word/number combination so far. I love the idea of finding my purpose, as I don’t know if I’ve every searched for it so intently and I believe it is the most important thing in one’s lifetime! Right before 2019 began, I signed up for a Psychology course, a Non Violent Communication 2 month workshop, and 4 classes at Happiness U for January alone. I’m really proud of myself for reaching for more, all while working full-time. In the Number and Word class, Alice mentioned the “8 year” is when you will “see things start to happen”, and I’m seeing it!
The Vision Board workshop was a great way for me to be inspired by images and “see” things as well. I have my board on my bedroom wall and I look at it every day. Piggy-backing off of the visions for 2019, I was also inspired to write a 19 Goals for 2019 list, which my sister and I are holding each other accountable for. It really makes the year seem full of possibilities, as it’s one thing to think you want to do something, then say you want to do something, then make a list of things you want to do, then hold yourself accountable to do them – it really makes your thoughts turn into accomplishments – amazing!
In the “Everything Happens for a Reason” class, something really stood out to me – the idea that “it’s not the event, it’s about you and the gift.” The shift in thinking from “Why did this happen?”, “Why me?”, and “This is irritating” to now questioning everything with “Maybe this happened because….” is, dare I say, life changing. It really makes all the feelings of frustration and irritation lessen because you can accept things if you find a benefit or silver lining. Even though I’ve heard this type of thought process before, it can be easy to forget, and like a muscle, needs to be worked out to keep it active. 🙂
I absolutely loved Danny Kim’s presentation, “Stumbling Upon Meaning & Purpose.” – it was really touching to hear about his story and hear him open up about his struggles in life. I completely agree that we can sometimes search for validation elsewhere, when it’s in fact within – we cannot fill a hole within ourselves externally. Like Danny, I have also felt like I am “Sailing alone…..rudderless…”, but I feel more confident that those moments are simply times where I need to change the direction of my sails and find the wind. Danny’s story made me realize some things about someone I know who started life off with quite a few setbacks – I understand the “masks to hide the struggle” that he describes and it really made a lot of sense out of certain behavior. I wish everyone had a presentation about their own life story and struggles like Danny – how eye-opening and special.
As for attachment styles, I came to realize that I am mostly avoidant, with some anxious behavior mixed in – and yes, I am Water! Finally accepting and understanding that I am an introvert, I wondered if I indeed avoid getting close to people, or if I just prefer a lot of independent alone time. I know for sure that I have been craving more close connections lately, so perhaps something has been inhibiting that with my behavior. Some of the techniques that stood out for me were to be self-aware of behavior that prevents intimacy and the internal voice that might be even subconsciously coaching me away from what I want. I certainly could work on getting physically stronger and have amped-up by self-care. I’m pretty sure my dog has an anxious attachment style because he pouts when I leave and is super uneasy when company is over (especially men!) His self-talk that I’m going to abandon him needs to stop!