February Reflections:
I applied for the Happiness U scholarship for a lot of reasons but the biggest one was to be accountable to myself and regain focus, prioritize to clearly visualize my future and manifest my best life. My journey began with an inspirational BANG and aha moment with my very first event of Alice’s that I attended years ago I had attended on the astrological forecast for the year ahead. We were tasked with writing a list of 10 goals/manifestations for the upcoming year. I had walked away inspired and motivated as had my girlfriends I went with and we all went on our ways with great takeaways. I had tucked the list away and not really thought about it again and found it a year later and realized I had completed the list unknowingly. It was at that moment I became as Alice superfan because it was the first time I really saw the power and value in manifestation prior to that it had really just been wordplay or something that happened to other people. I have had a lot of life changes and challenges and carving out this “me” time continued to be less of a priority. I follow Alice and Happiness U on social media and remained inspired but never had “the time” or “the money”. Both of which are invalid excuses especially if I ever have a new outfit or a favorite TV show further showing I have both time and money. It wasn’t until I was having a cocktail with my new friend Breana, who told me about the scholarship, that I really knew it was time, a moment of true kismet.
Of course it took a while to find “the time” to apply but in a time when I was feeling really defeated and frustrated in life I sat down and filled out the application. The process of this was amazing, it was therapeutic and both gave me insight into what I deem to be “important” and gave me to opportunity to take stock of both my emotional status as well glimpsing into the future. Anywhoo… In attending the Year of Movement I had come straight from working a full 12 hour shift in the ER to this talk still wearing my scrubs. It was hilarious because I felt like Alice was speaking directly to me… the word STUCK really resonated… I have always been a mover and shaker who doesn’t do well with a stagnant or routine life. However over the past year-ish I have been on a hamster wheel of sorts constantly questioning if I am where I am supposed to be and yet not making any real changes. This talk really provided me with some tools and validation to move forward and make the changes that I need to live my best possible life. My job really gives me the strangely fortunate insight to really understand mortality. It harvests a real YOLO way of life where I rarely say no to any opportunity that will bring me joy from travel to concerts and even that adorable outfit to wear to these events lol. I just watched healthy money mindset I realized that I do place value on experience more than saving. It is strange that once I was able to identify that I have been putting my money towards what I value however I feel I will now restructure that focus and put more value in the saving. I have always felt a disconnect from money as I was raised in a true treat yoself fashion by my father where my mother was very frugal. While I wish that I had inherited my mothers financial intelligence she has also chosen a very different lifestyle than what I would choose. So in this I was able to see I’m not just a total financial dummy but rather put more importance on lifestyle, but need to create more of a balance which will definitely alleviate some of that useless emotion of guilt.
The year of movement speaks about finances which is something that I have been struggling with and vowing to restructure over the next year. Again everything felt so AHA at that event. I got a lot out of letting go of guilt on this same topic… the let it go concept is always the optimal and easiest solution but it is so much more difficult to come to fruition. My takeaway from Guilt 101 was that judging yourself is worse than what you did because you are not accepting yourself for who you are! But more so the ENERGY that I personally allow my guilt to consume is off the charts. I will not carry around imbalanced perceptions… only I can change my perspective and I need to be my own best friend. Everyone is where they need to be and if my lifestyle is causing me to feel guilt then how can I shift what I value to live my lifestyle without guilt, in balance and still attain what I value. Where is my wealth…. Travel, intellect, friends and family.
Moving forward I feel like I have been medicating loneliness and where “I am supposed to be” with shopping, socializing and often too much wine, travel etc. but I am feeling STUCK and In a true crossroads in life. Where do I want to be geographically, what do I truly WANT to manifest…what am I scared of? What barriers am I creating to my own self?
I believe one of my strengths is setting goals and making them happen, I believe you don’t TRY to make it happen you go into something for it to happen. And I want to understand what my goals WILL be and not what they SHOULD be. When I am unhappy I truly go super dark and think if I were told I was going to die what would I do to make things happen. You get one life and I want my best life and don’t feel like I have been true to myself and have allowed fear and comfort to keep me from what I really desire.
So in all of this reflection I truly believe that I’m on the right path and ecstatic about this new journey and look forward to the goals and challenges that I am going to create for myself. THANK YOU for this amazing opportunity Happiness U!
March Reflections:
This month was busy! While my enthusiasm of being a scholarship recipient persists I am now facing my recurrent challenge of slowing down and taking the time to work on myself. At this point if I wasn’t part of the Happiness U cohort my journey would have likely taken a backseat to everyday life so I am already ahead of the game. The requirement to stay accountable, check in and have a minimum attendance is priceless to me. My hopes in the end of this scholarship I can commit to myself like I strive to with Happiness U.
I am trying to find the balance between being hard on myself for not maintaining focus while also trying to give myself a break. I need to create the mindset that this work is enjoyable and while it may challenge me, the outcomes of my learning usually leave me more relaxed, focused and excited! One of my main, but smaller goals is to commit first thing in he morning to journal, meditate, work on my Lifebook etc. On paper the act seems very simple but in my busy fatigued world I can often take the path of least resistance such as Coffee and scrolling … however I would like to say there have been more mornings committing to this than last month….progress!
Lifebook weekend was amazing… I never would spend that much time on myself… and never have … I don’t think I’ve ever delved or addressed my belief framework is built of or had so much insight into my psyche. It was an exhausting and inspiring exercise. I love having any opportunity to have record of my life or where my mind was at a certain time so I look forward to building on this, manifesting and revisiting the exercise.
Moving into April I am committing to becoming re-focused on my goals. I have faced some barriers that I am responsible for so in the next month I am looking forward to working on my daily affirmations and not being resistant to what the universe wants to provide me. It is a process and I am seeing and loving the progress. Everyday is different, some days more inspiring than others but my eyes are open to appreciating and receiving the synchronicities, opportunities and great things the universe has to offer.
April Reflections:
My journey with Happiness U continues to be enriching and eye opening. I am in the stage of the year where things are getting more and more hectic which is usually the point where self care is put on the back burner and lost in the shuffle. I continue to make HU a priority so while my time may be more limited I still manage to make it to my classes and try to integrate my learnings into my life. My daily process continues to be a work in progress but it is still more than I was once doing.
I spoke with Alice about one of her mindful moments about being grateful for all the yummy goodness that the universe imparts. Moving forward I have been working towards being more specific in my gratitude. I also caught myself having a negative thought this morning and rather than give it life I switched my thinking and made it a segue to one of my affirmations. Much like sitting down on the bench and taking a breath because there’s nothing you can do about it in that specific moment.
So again thank you for allowing me to be a part of this journey. I love the energy and positivity that comes from all the speakers, diverse student body and all of you!
