Synchronistically three people asked me recently, what I thought about twin flames and soulmates. Here are my thoughts.

Both of these terms are esoteric theories that describe a unique soul connection between two people. Whether a twin flame or a soul mate, their presence on earth makes you feel inexplicably whole and complete. When you are with them, nothing is missing, and the bond that you share is profound in ways that defy explanation.


Soul mate connections are those that we can potentially share with multiple people throughout our lifetime in different degrees and various spectrums of intensity. With these people we have a connection that lasts throughout space and time. You may be living your life together, but if not, no matter where or how long it’s been since you’ve seen each other, you feel connected. Your bond is intense and though the relationship may change forms and purpose over time, the love is always there, always palpable.


Twin flame connections are rarer and I liken them to the ultimate model of the Yin and the Yang relationship. In Chinese philosophy, this is a concept that describes how seemingly contrary forces are simultaneously complementary, interconnected and interdependent. It’s these opposing forces that give rise to each other as they interrelate through their experiences together.

Twin flames are two whole individual souls on their own, but they seem to emit the exact same frequency of vibration, accounting for an incredibly strong exchange of energy when they are physically around one another. When together it’s the feeling of integration – of not knowing where one begins and the other ends. It’s a feeling of inseparability on a whole other level.

Usually, twin flames show up as intense romantic relationships. There is an extremely high level of comfort, intimacy, and understanding of each other. Being together brings a sense of deep peace—akin to the feeling of returning home after a long journey.


These higher level relationships exist not only for our happiness and fulfillment, but also to challenge us to grow and evolve – so it isn’t always confetti, rainbows and butterflies. Often there are circumstances surrounding the relationship that are complex and challenging.

Sometimes you are kept from being together because of a commitment to another relationship or because of a need to live in a different location. Sometimes the challenge is that your bond is so intense that when beliefs and opinions clash, emotions get out of hand and you choose to interact less.

Mostly though, when you are together you able to be vulnerable and intimate in a way that you can’t be with anyone else. It’s a relationship that feels so “right” there are no words to adequately explain it. These are the relationships make us feel alive.

Both soulmates and twin flames cause us to think and rethink what we believe about life and the rules we live by. Through these connections we find new ways to love, we open up to new values to live by, and expand our awareness and consciousness about life.


So how do you know if the person you are with is a loving life partner that you have grown to love and care about over time, or if they are a higher level spiritual connection?

1. THE CONNECTION IS INDESCRIBABLE. There are no words that can adequately honor what it is. The vibe between you is profound and you can’t turn it off, even if it’s untimely or goes against moral standards.

2. YOU “GET” EACH OTHER LIKE NO OTHER. They may be different from you in personality, age, beliefs, gender and presence, yet you understand each other in ways others don’t.

3. YOU ARE INSEPARABLE BY SPACE OR TIME. Even when you are physically apart, you are mentally in tune with each other. Even when you can’t connect, you are thinking of each other all the time, tuning into each other naturally.

4. YOU ARE IN IT TOGETHER. No matter what, you know you are on the same side when it comes to your relationship. You feel that with that person in your life anything is possible. You feel safe with them. You trust them implicitly.

5. YOU NEED THEM. You feel as though you can’t imagine a life without them in it, and their presence alone makes you feel calm and like everything is right with the world.

6. THERE IS INCREDIBLE PHYSICAL CHEMISTRY. The physical bond you share is undeniable and exquisite. It’s the way you feel the complete merging of your souls.

7. THEY HELP YOU EVOLVE AND GROW. The challenges you go through together becomes the glue that keeps you interacting. Together you bring things out in each other that you didn’t know existed. And you learn from them. A lot.


Sometimes you meet people that you really vibe or click with, but they might not be to the level of a soul mate or an ultimate twin flame. These can be a close friend, family member, coworker, or even a pet. These are the people that don’t play a big part in our spiritual growth, but are the ones who support us in life. Some of the kindred spirits in our lives feel like they go deeper than others which you can think of more like “soul friends.”


The purpose of any spiritual relationship and connection is not only about happiness, love and mind-blowing sex, but about waking you up to something greater within you, allowing you to shed all of that which is petty so you can experience the gift of transformation.

If you haven’t met or experienced a relationship such as described above, remain open. Both soulmates and twin flames can be around each other for years and neither may recognize each other in this capacity – until both are ready.

When you do meet someone that you are meant to share a higher spiritual journey with, let the relationship be what it is. It has an organic destiny and this person is in your life to both challenge and awaken you to a higher level of consciousness.

Do you have a personal explanation or experience of higher level relationships? Have you met your twin flame or soul mate?


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